It is with great sadness we would like to announce the death of the Anglican Church in New Zealand. It did not come as a surprise as sickness and disease has been poisoning the body for many years now. The judge said the there were many causes of the death but all the evidence points not to natural causes but murder. The underlying cause was the rejection of the health manual. This manual 'called the Bible' said on many occasions that certain actions would cut them off from the source of life and leave them dead. When asked about the use of the manual a spokes person said he had heard of this manual but had not used one for many years so would have to get back to us about it.
It was a well planned murder. There was thought to be a few survives but they were in the process of being rounded up and slaughtered as we spoke. The plan was started many years ago with the education of future vicars. St Johns College was infiltrated by wicked men who started to teach that Gods word could be interpreted. This enabled fundamentals of the manual to be challenged and that the word of God was not infallible. This in turn meant that many vicars were full of doubt and always justifying there stances. The environment was created to move on the next part of the plan. The next step was to control the voting at any synod. With weak preaching the saints started to move to other denominations leaving many churches with small congregations. These churches were not closed down but became home for the worst, most liberal and faithless vicars. This gave the wicked leaders voting power. A problem arose that there were too few faithless vicars. They claimed that there were too few suitable vicars so they bought in faithless people from England. England was a good source of faithless people as the church had become so corrupt that it was really no longer Christian but pseudo Christian like the Jehovah's Witnesses. The reason there was no one suitable in New Zealand was there had been a move of God and large numbers of the potential vicars had become spirit filled. Now another problem started to arise as vicars were coming through who then became spirit filled. These churches became quite large and the top 6 or 7 churches would take such a large number of people with them if they left and formed a new church with a new bishop they would become the main Anglican church. Leaving the wicked Bishops with little income. They maintained the awful Christian environment trying to push through non Christian doctrines which saw a continuing fall in the general congregations. This effected the larger spirit filled churches more than others. They targeted churches by putting in women Vicars, a sure fired way to destroy a church. Finally they got themselves into a position to murder their victim. They voted to devoid Gods word and replace it with man's word. To set up the idol of man's opinion as of higher importance than God. The case was complete, the body lying dead for all to see and the murderers standing around celebrating with their rainbow scarf's.
The spokes person for the church said he would like to defend this accusation. An astonishingly hansom man who spoke as though he was the ruler of this world. For all his stunning looks he had these strange little bumps on the top of this head. He started by pointing out the every member of the congregation was in possession of the health manual and if they took time to read it they would be aware of the rules set out in it. They had plenty of occasions to stand up and force the issue as their brothers in the Presbyterian church had done. Their lack of effort and back bone at the management levels and congregation levels meant only one thing. That their happy little Christian life style was far more important than defending God and his instruction manual. It did not matter that they did not now Jesus and never had. They had the opportunity to find him but just could not be bothered. Sad that on judgement Jesus will say he never new them. But take heart there will be many millions of Anglicans from western countries being told the same thing.
In summary he put it to us that this was not a murder but a case of suicide. You know he is probably right.